When you hear the term “romance,” what do you think of? Do images of red roses and lit candles come to mind, or do you think of snuggling up on the couch watching your favorite sitcom with your partner? The truth is, everybody has a different idea of what it means to be romantic. My wife and I, for example, have very different ideas of romance; I’m more of the softhearted, mushy type who may cry during a movie. In fact, it was out of my romantic heart that Bello Romance Photography (my Indianapolis wedding photography service) was born. Her idea of romance, on the other hand, is more fulfilled when I go out of my way to help her out with chores around the house.
And there’s nothing wrong with this; everybody has a unique “love language” that must be deciphered and understood by one’s partner. Once that point comes, it’s a truly beautiful thing. I will admit that I entered into my marriage without a true understanding of how to decipher this language because I developed a certain mindset about marriage and romance growing up. However, once I made a commitment to constantly be open to discovering new things about my partner, I realized that the possibilities were endless.
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How to Discover Your Partner’s Love Language
No matter how long you’ve been together, there’s always more to discover about your partner; I’ve been married for 42 years now, and I can tell you that this discovery stage really never ends. The first step to truly deciphering his or her love language, then, is to keep an open and curious mind. After all, while falling in love is amazing, staying in love takes dedication.
Furthermore, understand that there are typically five general actions through which romance is carried out. These include:
- physical touch
- acts of service
- spending quality time
- giving gifts
- words of affirmation
Everybody has different preferences. If your partner sometimes laments that you don’t spend enough time together, then he or she may feel that the relationship is lacking that aspect of “spending quality time.” On the other hand, if your partner complains about not getting enough help around the house, then he or she may view “acts of service” as a romantic gesture—very much like my own wife.
The key, then, is determining which of these actions matter most to your partner in terms of his or her conception of “romance.” Some people may value words of affirmation more than the giving of gifts, whereas others may be the exact opposite. That’s part of what makes each romantic relationship so beautiful and unique. No matter what kind of love language your partner speaks, you’ll be amazed at what can happen when you learn how to speak it fluently.