We’ve all received wedding invitations in the mail, printed on fine, creamy stationary and requesting your presence on the couple’s special day. More than likely, you’ve felt the excitement that comes along with attending or even being involved in a wedding. After all, a wedding is a celebration; it’s a chance to “party”–and maybe an excuse to shop for some new shoes.
However, after the last song is played at the reception and guests have begun to file out the doors—long after the DJ packs up and the wedding photographer has taken his or her last photo—the newly-wed couple has a lot of work to do. Work to foster a caring and healthy marriage. Work to keep that covenant strong.
Having been married for more than 42 years, I can vouch that marriage is work. After the initial “thrill” of the marriage wears off, a successful marriage really boils down to understanding and accepting differences while staying devoted to that covenant.
Looking Beyond the Wedding
“Until death do us part” is a vow that couples take when they get married, but the weight behind such a vow is not always realized. Marriage is meant to be a lifelong commitment, but sadly, I’ve heard people say that “lifelong” can mean “until divorce.” It’s my belief that when a separation occurs, it’s our own personal weaknesses and selfishness that cause it.
If you’re in the process of planning a wedding, it’s easy to focus on all the little details: the cake, the floral arrangements, and everything in between. But when the ceremony is all said and done, those things won’t matter. What will matter is taking your vows seriously and enduring whatever inevitable challenges you may face as a couple.
Overcoming Common Challenges in Marriage
No marriage is perfect and all marriages are faced with challenges, which is exactly why marriage is not a place for the weak. Some common difficulties married couples face include those related to finances, parenting, and career issues.
Whatever the problem may be, the key to overcoming it is to prioritize the marriage and do so selflessly. Rather than thinking lesser of your spouse because he lost his job, support him in finding a new one. Instead of seeing divorce as your only way to escape marital financial troubles, work with your spouse to come up with a game plan to live simply and get out of debt. When you put your vow to love your spouse until death do you part above all else, a lot of other things will fall into place.
Love is a verb; it implies action. A wedding is just an event, a noun; once it’s over, it’s over. That’s why putting the marriage above the wedding is so important for those who want to make love last.