These days, it seems as though people have an evolving idea of what it means to be committed—whether it be in a romantic relationship, a friendship, or even a job. It’s important that we continue to see commitments as being not so much about a contract or something we feel obligated to, but as a covenant.
This is especially true when it comes to marriage.
Marriage: Not a Contract, But a Commitment
Being married isn’t just about being with your “soul mate” or being with somebody out of convenience (because they make a lot of money, for example). Instead, a healthy marriage should be a covenant—one of unconditional love, despite the realization that one’s partner has imperfections. That money may not be around forever. Your partner’s good looks might fade with time. This is where marriages that go beyond the superficial and reach the truest depths of commitment will last.
The True Goal of a Marriage
Ultimately, the main goal of a strong and healthy marriage should be about becoming one entity—one vision going in one direction. This doesn’t mean that you lose your independence. Instead, you and your partner become interdependent. You share values and goals, and you work towards them together.
Keys to a Strong Marriage
With all that in mind, what can you and your partner do to keep your marriage—your covenant—going strong? For starters, I’ve found that it’s helpful to to associated with other married couples who have healthy relationships. Don’t be ashamed or afraid to ask them for advice when you need it. This allows husbands to stay accountable to other good husbands just as it helps wives stay accountable to other wives.
Also, in my many years of marriage, I’ve found that putting my wife above everything else in my life (including myself) is a key to success. This means understanding that every decision I make affects her in some way and making sure that she knows my life in and out. That there are no secrets between us that could jeopardize the trust we’ve built.
And from my covenant marriage to my wife, I have developed a daily “BELLO”, a nugget of truth to support the great cause of covenant love. I believe it’s time to strengthen the greatest institution on earth once again, and that can only begin with a wider understanding of what it means to enter into a covenant love.